I don’t know how to stop absorbing the foul moods and weird paranoid imaginings of those around me. I only seem to be able to add power to the ugly and spit it back out, left shaking and angry, ashamed, annoyed, and (I know it’s hard to believe, but) out of words.
I truly don’t think this ugliness is starting with me. At least not mostly. I’m bubbly for goodness’ sake! Well, usually. But the journey of my life is at a crossroads here, the vehicle paused, until I can figure out how to shake this stuff off, be myself, be rubber and not glue. I want to radiate the positive, not vile nasty angry words and thoughts!
So, I suppose people will say I better start back with meditation, warm baths, good books, soft puppies, and that magic something I have yet to find. I want to be myself, and I believe I’m not this green… How do those wonderful, warm, glowing people do it? How can I?